Song in my head: w-inds. - Love Train

Hi all.

Sorry to hear abt the passing of Shu Ting's godmother....

I'm back from my cruise...The cruise was ok. The day before the cruise (Sat), i didn't sleep a wink lor! I spent the whole night editing the video for SADM. (i'd better get in or else!) i started at 10pm and ended at 6.55am. So the next few days on the ship i was always v drowsy...can't feel energetic at all.

Tried the jacuzzi...which was v shuang3.. but i sat in it for too long and felt tired instead (u're supposed to feel refreshed)..the food was not bad...The only fun was the Gala dinner cos i brought my sec 4 farewell dinner gown and i shared the same room with the makeup artist. So she helped me and my 2 APs to do our makeup and hair...yay! I really looked pan4 ruo4 liang3 ren2.. When the 3 of us entered the restaurant and took our seats everyone was like "Wow!" at the 3 of us. Yay...So happy! Moses' wife told me i was the one with the biggest change..haha..ok so it means i look ugly on usual days but at least i still can look good if i bother to dress up..*hehz* Ego ego ego....=P

Shit....tot a lot abt some guys in my life...arrrghhh....had a headache ytd thinking abt it..but my conclusion is that i won't go for it lah. I may regret this 10 yrs down the road when i'm still single and lonely but now....i conclude that i'm not ready for a relationship yet. When it gets too real it freaks me out. I hate being out of control. I hate it that my emotions would be determined by someone else and what the person does....arrghh...moreover i dun even love myself. I dun even know what 'suki' means. So how would i zhen1 zheng4 de xi huan another person??

Yuck. I can't relationships right now. Ok. Ok. Focus on my job.

*tries to hypnotise myself* Job Job job....

Pic of the day:

Shuai!!

Lalala~~~
Finished the essay and chose the photos for my application to SADM. YAY!

Ytd, when i applied to NTU (NTUC hahaha!), i included my SAT I score. I tot can juz send in the internet printout like NUS and SMU. KNS...when i called the admissions office, the fellow who ans said cannot, must as SAT to send the scores to NTU or maybe ask my sch teacher see if he has the score report. I was like SHIT!!! Cos the sending of scores will take 3 weeks and i only have wat, 9 days left to end of the application deadline. So i called Shuang Han to get Felix's hp no. Then while i was on the phone with her, i realised that i can change my qualifications. *HENG AH!* Haiz....stupid SAT...shouldn't have taken it...if not i won't be so kiasu as to include it...KNS...KNN..

Shuang Han: Sorry for taking up ur time...but THANKS. U really did help me...My lucky charm!! If not i'll be tearing my hair out right now...

Stuff (left) to do:
1. Submit form for Hokkaido homestay.
2. Do the video for SADM.
3. Send essay, photos and video to NTU office of admissions.

Pics from the movie date with Samantha last Fri:

Me & Samantha!!

Me lounging on the couch in The Coffee Connoiseur *peace!*

Samantha - a tai-tai in the making~

*Say cheese!*

Oh no! Samantha caught me on a date with Hitch! *smiles shyly*

A dreamy picture of Akira

*Swoons*

Yay! I'm feeling happy and hopeful right now...Settled a couple of stuff that have been weighing on my mind these few days...Sent the supporting documents to NUS & SMU. Called up LaSalle & Raffles Design Institute regarding their film/film-related courses. Borrowed a nice book to read (Pavillion of women) and a film-related book ("How to direct an award-winning short"). Things are starting to get sorted out. The murky waters are clearing up.....

Stuff (left) to do:
1. Submit form for Hokkaido homestay.
2. Decide whether to take film at all.
3. Prepare the photos (for SADM).
4. Write the essay (for SADM).
5. Do the video (for SADM).

Decided that i need to engage my brain in sth to get my brain activity up again so i borrowed Pavillion of Women to read. Saw the drama sekai no chuushin de in TS...tot of buying it cos it's supposedly based on a good movie based on a good book (am i right?). I need mental stimulation!!!!!! i believe that only when u immerse yourself in good films & books do good ideas come cos they get you thinking = brain activity. Gimme the mental nourishment!!!!!

Hmmm.....maybe i shall get a new phone, though i dun have a real need to. Maybe i shall get it to mark the end of my first project? Hee hee....i want a FLIP PHONE!!!!

I was so damn sian today b4 i left for West Mall..asked 3 pple out for lunch but they're either working or meeting or pple...Yeah..tml i'll be eating dinner with my sis at Sakae Sushi. Ureshii!!!

Ytd i met this guy during work who works as a sushi chef at Cuppage. So zai!! He's actually Michael's fren & Michael roped him in to act. Anyway, i spoke to that man briefly and he said he worked in Japan for many years! Cool siaz!!!! This guy makes real sushi...unlike Sakae which serves mechanically made, commercialised balls of rice with fish slapped on top masquerading as sushi...

When are good movies ever gonna come again? I flipped thru the newspaper today and i sian diao. Hostage? Son of the mask??? Bogeyman??? In Good company??? *ScReAmz* Somebody save the movie industry!!!!!

I met a guy at work who reminded me of him. I know it's damn lame cos he's obviously not ryuichi... But he's also short, stout, dresses weirdly, messes around with his hairstyles (fancy a perm on a guy, anyone?). And i keep noticing him. He spoke to me today...asked me which episodes belong to which director. Inconsequential things to him or me. But he spoke to me.

I'm contented.

Pic of the day:

Chiba (Cheesebun) Ryohei from w-inds.

Pretty guy. Cute guy. Funny guy =D

You Are the Peacemaker
9

You are emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others. Your friends and family often look to you to be the mediator when there is conflict. You are easy going and accepting. You take things as they come. Avoding conflict at all costs, you're content when things are calm.

Today marks the end of filimng for Men Dang Hu Dui. On land, at least ;P For the uninitiated (or those whom i haven't met in a long while), we're going on s CRUISE! Heh heh...4D3N cruise to Penang & Phuket. But there'll be filming for 2 and a half days...sad...tot can have 2 days one night to play...

Oh! And there's a Gala dinner in the restaurant on the 3rd night where everyone has to wear formal clothes. We'll be having our qing4 gong1 yan4 then!!!!!! \(^-^)/ I'm going to wear my gown for my sec 4 farewell!!!! So exciting!!!!! Cos i can see him in formal wear too!!!! Ha ha ho ho hee hee (but so sad, W is not going...KNN)

But alas! i tink i won't have much of a rest after the cruise...there are 2 new dramas coming up...KNS...I'm really scared of drama after what i heard from Shu Ting. Shit shit shit shit!!!

Broke my specs recently. Or, more accurately, the screw on my specs popped out and the lens dropped on the floor and broke. So i went to make a new pair but it'll only be ready in 7 to 10 days...which mean s after the cruise...i also made a new pair of contacts, no thanks to the STOOPID GRAND OPTICAL & CONTACT LENS PTE LTD in Jurong East. They're damn lame ok......dunno why their shop is still open... I made a new pair of contacts just before new year cos i lost the right lens one night after studio filming. The optometrist tested my eyesight: L- 1100, R - 1400.

I was super shocked cos previously, my right eye was only 1100!!! So ok, they made the lens....but when i got back my lens, i couldn't see properly. So they made another pair . Without testing my eyesight again. <---i was like, "Wat's the point of making another pair of contacts with the exact same degrees? Isn't that like buying spoilt milk knowing that it's spoilt but hoping that it isn't????"

Obviously, i still couldn't see clearly with the 2nd pair. When i went to collect them, i was told i had to bring the previous pair with me to exchange. And since they didn't mention it at all over the phone, i didn't have it on me. So they arranged for me to collect the lens at the Bukit Batok branch. (Ridiculous shits!) i was like, "Ok, fine juz give me the lens and i'll split."

I tot it was the end of the whole horrible episode. Then a few weeks later, i got a call from them. They'd made another pair of contacts w/o my knowing and asked me to collect. I went but the lens still didn't work....So the optometrist took my eyesight again. And she had the cheek to tell me "Yeah, i tested your eyesight correctly." i was like *roll my eyes still they're cured of any short-sightedness*

Damn lame right??!!!!!! Wat the shit....Anyways, back to my new specs...This time, i went to the Clementi branch, the place that my mum used to bring me to (before i found the JE branch more convenient). And guess what? When the optometrist there tested my eyesight, it's actually L - 1000, R - 1100!!!! Fricking lame right???!!!!!!!!!!! How can you make a mistake of 300 bloody fucking degrees???!!!!!!! Like???!!!!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!???!!!!! I was so utterly flabbergasted at how shippai that JE branch was. Is.

Damn fricking lame.

Now the lens from the Clementi branch had better work.....

shit...i can't find my SAT 1 score report...seriously..i don't remember seeing it...i don't remember receiving it at all..shit shit shit....

I:

Your Beauty liesin Sadness. Lonely, depressed and feeling broken.
For whatever reason, you seethis world only for the bad that it holds carrying
the burdens of yourself andothers. Some people like to be with you and your
unique vantage point when theyare down, you are someone who can sympathize with
them. But you find yourselfalone again when they seem to find a solution and
are happy again, yet you stillare stuck in this rut. Do not worry, you will make
it out at some time. Everyonedoes, if you try. When you are seen all others want
to do is make your pain goaway, but that is something only you can do. You
probably keep to yourself a lotand don't like to let people in, afraid to be hurt
again. You feel empty andhelpless and your looks reflect that, often seen
with tears in your eyes.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Dark, Earth Animal: Robin Color:
Grays, Blacks, DarkColors Song: Tourniquet by Evanescence
Expression:Tearful Frown

Gemstone:Aquamarine Mythological Creature: Spirit,
Gargoyle Planet: Mercury Hair
Color: Blue-Black Eye Color:Gray

Quote:"Am I too lost to be saved?"

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by

I HATE MY JOB. There. I said it finally. i hate being a nanny. I hate nagging at people abt things they already know (basically unneccessary nagging). I hate the long walk into the company compound. cos it means i'm step by step getting closer to my hated job.

What am i doing still considering taking SADM? Still painting a beautiful picture of movie-making? It's all honest hard work. I HATE honest hard work. Just look at my grades and you'll know. I hate the hassel of getting into SADM. I wonder if i should juz apply for accountancy and be done with it. The deskbound nature of the job probably fits my personality better, wat the heck.

Really feel like giving up....cos filming making is all abt working from the basics...from bottom up. What the shit...i don't want to be a PA again. Ever.

Fuck. if one day i become a director, i'll be nice to my PA. (Like how Michael is)

Should i just study accountancy and learn manga drawing on my own?? Arrggh....maybe i should just take up jap studies and be a translator. For chuang yi comics or tong li comics or whatever comics...

Shit...i've got studio work till next thurs. No time to film the video. Meanwhile can think of the essay...which is a damn lame thing...

I'm going to break down soon...shit i hate pressure...i gotta work but all i wanna do is sit down and think carefully through my options...

Tanjoubi omedetou Stella-chan!

Photojournal of the celebration....
At Han's Great Eastern branch
vhere is ze food? (starving sara, me & ming choo)


Yummy melon!


*gasp* kieta kieta! tabemono ga kieta!!!

Ming Choo...i knew u had it for me! ;P

Stella scared by the evil pink bag...


5 chiobus!

My gosh. The money i've spent on medical bills for the past few days is more than the total i'd spent in the last 18 years. $144 in 4 days (!!!!).

It all started on thurs. I tink i had food poisoning (symptoms: churning stomach, intermittent stomache) so i went to the doctor's after work. I told him wrongly that the pain was high up the stomach so he tot it was gastric & stomach wind. Obviously the medicine didn't work v well & i had diarrhoea the next day (b4 i left my hse to get my results).

After getting my results, i felt under the weather and so i decided to go home. But while i was walking down the stairs from the hall to the canteen, disaster struck. I fell down the stairs (luckily it was the last 2 steps). In my skirt. I felt a sharp twist in my foot. i couldn't get up. Luckily this girl & this guy helped me up (Bless them!) Yes. So i hobbled home.

It's damn pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When i reached my block, i was already tearing...i tink my sis probably knows why...cos i hate hate HATE to be ill. And on top of that, i've sprained my ankle farking badly & i feel bad to having to miss work...Fark fark fark. I opened the door to an empty house & i juz cried....felt so miserable & alone.

That night, my mum brought me to the doctor's and he gave me 4 days mc. Now he diagnosed my symptoms as food poisoning. I took the medicine and the diarrhoea had since stopped. But i still felt a constant dull ache in my stomach. I felt very full, like all my food has somehow decided to defy peristalsis and stay in that part of my intestines. Farking weird. Anyway i was panicking so i took weisen-u, which was supposed to be good for indigestion. When it still didn't work, i took the diarrhoea-inducing medicine that the first doc gave. Nothing much happened except that i farted a few times (miserable farts they were, too).

Dinner for me, consisted of rice, veg & fish. I ate some rice, all the veg but i couldn't bring myself to eat the fish. Terrible...i looked at the fish and all my appetite just left me. After that i slept at 9pm. When i woke up at 11pm to pass sth to my AP (she came over to my house), i felt very hot. Even she commented that my face was very red.

So i took my temp. WAh! 39.1 degrees! My mum quickly brought me to the doctor's. He did a urine test. while he was playing wif my pee, awful thoughts ran thru my head. Kidney failure? Stomach cancer? Dehydration? I haven't been drinking enough water during the past few weeks of outdoor shoots...

Luckily the doctor said i seem ok..

Anywayz i'm feeling better today! *YAY* vow to take care of my health after this episode...