To: xxx xxx
There's something i must know. Have you ever liked me? Ok, no....What do you think of me?
I like you. I've liked you since the start of the term. I have to tell you this, if not i think i'll die. Countless nights i have spent, aching to tell you how i feel. Each time stopping myself before i do, convincing myself to wait for the right moment.
Pple would advise me to build a friendship with you before deciding whether i really like you. But i don't have that patience! I likie you, right here, right now and i want to tell you and get an answer now. I really don't see how people can have that patience to just befriend the person. It's been a term. Soon another term will pass. Then a year. Then 4 years. When will i ever find the 'right' moment/guts to tell you how i feel?
The presence of your girlfriend shouldn't matter. Why would it? If you like me, you do; if you don't, you don't, girlfriend or not.
"Don't act cute.."
"I was trying to get inot your good books mah.."
本当？Or do you mean sth else, sth different from what i'd interpreted?
I know I'm not dying from sickness or anything...Or in any real form of physical pain. But this feeling eating away at me...It's like a disease, not being able to tell you how i feel. Who knows, maybe when i do tell you my feelings, i'll stop liking you.
-------------------------------------------------------
Haiz. Maybe i should just lighten up and be myself in front of him.
Alecia, my classmate, said that people who have no ambition/goals should not get attached. Like, you don't even know what you want "then you want girlfren for wat"? In principle this is true.
But i disagree with this statement. As in, i myself am a person with no clear ambition.
And, if you just get attached for the sake of doing so, there is no point. I don't agree either. i feel lonely now so i don't see what's wrong. I guess someday when i find the One for me, i'll find this all a waste of my time but that is
if I find him.
And i'm very dependent. I just
need someone to be here for me. Physically
need that someone. But i suppose in the end i will feel even more lonely cos the relationship is a sham.
Quoting Christopher Pike's "The Visitor":
"...I can make love to you."
"But we have no love and we'll end up making nothing at all."
Wait. Isn't this the premise of Pride? The whole 'relationship as a game' idea? *smacks my forehead* And to think i dismissed this show as fluffy crap!
I mean, i think i will actually consider this idea if someone is willing to be my partner. Michael かな？He's very practical so we won't interfere with each other's lives...But his eyes are too small though his bod is not bad, shoulders very broad.
If i propose (this idea) to him, he'll probably give me his shocked look, complete with the 'blink blink' characteristic of his stunned ("stunning!") expression and then tell me to get lost.
Ha.
Alecia also said that everyone has someone who likes them. Definitely. When me & 2 others girls (who haven't been in relationships b4) protested, she was like, "Surely have one! Just that 没有出声而已!" Haha this is to comfort myself and everyone out there who thinks that they are unlovable/unpopular. Someone out there like you and is noticing your every move... ;D
That shud explain why jan & mc's 'fren' is attached.
Haha.
xxx xxx
xxx xxx
xxx xxx....
Am i just being stupid?
