Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I was irritated with my teacher today. Dunno why i always feel inferior and insulted when she 'comments' on s'pore. not that it's not true....but whenever she compares s'pore to france (where she's from), she makes me feel like we're a class below the french. grrrr. i dun agree...we still have a lot of bases to cover to be a real city but i think that's where our potential lies. (to put it nicely -____-"') Not like france...so many social problems...hmph.

we don't have a rich culture of our own, whether lang or architecture or costume; our entertainmt scene is nearly dead; and our the nightlife and the arts scenes may be laughable compared to other countries...but wo bu gan yuan. (Hate feeling inferior abt myself. if there's one thing i can't stand, this is it.) C'mon s'pore we've got to show the world wat we've got!!!!!!!! Go go, s'poreans!!!!!!!
Took a personality test...it's rather accurate and in depth.. take it here http://www.perex.com/status.php

You are exceptional and unique. Your quest in life is to identify exactly who you are and
why you’re here. What’s important to you is the journey of self discovery, determining who
you are today is not the same as who you’ll be tomorrow.

You resist being categorized and are quick to question any social standard that you sense
someone imposing on you. Stereotypical gender roles always interest you and, in your mind,
connect to issues that most other people would never consider related. <-----hmmmm really?


You are particularly accepting of other people and have a special talent for seeing people’s
true selves instinctively. It takes time for you to trust your gut instinct about people
because even you don’t believe that someone could be so right about another person’s nature
so quickly. This intuitive sense about what people are thinking is your special talent. You
may think it is available to everyone and that others just ignore it, but in truth others
could never develop the skill to the level which comes naturally to you.

To you everything happens on a personal level. Your friends come to you for advice because
they know that you’ll love them for who they are and put yourself in their shoes to look at
the world. Your advice, although varied in delivery, usually boils down to “be true to
yourself” and “listen to your heart.” You are also an excellent confidant because things
told to you virtually never return to anyone through the grapevine.

You focus more on nurturing other’s self esteem than any other type. As a result of this
naturally caring nature, people often turn to you for moral support. You exude this quality
so strongly that even strangers will sometimes spontaneously begin confiding their deepest
secrets in you. <------Not true i tink...

You are by far the most talented of all types at reading nonverbal cues. In your admirable
attempts to convey a message diplomatically, those who aren't sensitive to inflection, tone,
insinuations or body language sometimes simply do not get your message because they only
receive the verbal half of what you said.

In the same way that you're the best at reading nonverbal cues, you're also the best at
sending them. When you speak they miss the nonverbal half of your message, then they speak
and transmit twice the message (verbal + nonverbal) which often gives away more than they
intended but is sometimes carelessly inaccurate since they don’t send nonverbal cues as well
as you do. When you're tempted to assign bias based on someone’s tone or other nonverbal
cues it is wise to have them restate what they said and see if ignoring the careless,
unintentional nonverbal half of their message lets their true meaning through. Click here to give feedback on this particular paragraph

As a parent you are very supportive and start educating your child early according to your
values. Your children know exactly where you stand and what is expected of them. You
overflow with positivity when your child sticks to the program, and reflect any negative
behavior directly on yourself and the quality of your parenting. Your focus is making sure
that your child has a strong self-image and high self-esteem. More than other parents it is
important for you to be friends with your children.

You are more philosophical than most and passionately discuss ethics and justice more than
other types. Your life has meaning, your life is significant. It is when ethical issues come
up in conversation that you most strongly sense that you are fundamentally different from
other people. You become visually emotionally focused when these issues arise, while others
easily laugh them off and switch topics to something trivial. To you, it seems that everyone
should be passionate about ending racism, sexism and all the other –isms out there.

You go by the book and are suspicious of anyone suggesting that rules or laws should be
ignored. (hee i'm a rules person, i know) You think constantly about improving laws, and see that at a major avenue for advancing social change because you see legislation and rule creation as the consensus opinion of the group working together. (hmm???????) You want nothing more than for there to be peace and harmony in the world, and your actions clearly reflect that vision. <---- true! true!

While you can instantly tell what’s on someone else’s mind, you can sometimes be confused
yourself when it comes to the mixture of your own emotions. This, mixed with your reserved
and complex nature can make it difficult for others to get to know you.

You have a special interest in figurative language. You are more strongly moved by poetry
and literature than any other type. You are often interested in the finer points of writing
and studying literature because you believe that how something is written or spoken is
inextricably connected to its meaning.

In school you were an excellent student, the teacher’s pet. More than the satisfaction of
learning, you enjoyed pleasing your instructors with your hard work and thoughtfulness and
delighted in the personal praise they gave you in return. You got to know your instructors
on a personal level and may have even kept in touch with certain of them after moving on to
other classes. (hmmmm.....i wish this para was true, but it's not. i'm much too shy.)

You can “connect” with any individual person and practically read their mind, but you have a
natural tendency to match your actions to the expectations you read from their mind and
yearn for company that lets you truly, naturally be yourself. You struggle between letting
yourself naturally match the sentiment of the group (which feels like putting on a façade)
or letting your individuality shine, which may allow people to see how different you are. <------ very true

Your life has meaning, your life is significant. You think all people should spend more time
thinking about who they are and what their purpose in life is.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Dong Hae's dad passed away on tues due to illness. It was a blow to me, cos Super Junior (the name of the band he belongs to) are such a sunny and happy bunch of pple and it was inconceivable to me that something tragic would hit them.

I heard that Dong Hae did not get to see his father for the last time cos he was in Seoul (Dong Hae wasn't from Seoul). Then, the next day, Hee Chul, one of the SuJu members who went to pay their respects to DH's dad, got into a car accident while driving back to Seoul. (ohmygod) Apparently he fractured his thigh and he would take 6 months to recover. oh my bloody shit. Really 一波未平,一波又起。(It never rains but pours)

Coupled with my anxiety at the thought of handling film production all on my own (i dun tink i can do it!), new classmates but no frens, i felt rather down last week.

Haiz......The impossible that had happened had effectively wiped any trace of positivity from my mind. SuJu's song 'Miracle', has a line that goes 'Life couldn't get better'. In the context of the song, it means that life is already very good. But now, it seems that the exact reverse is true. Oh the irony!

WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW is to rest my head on the strong shoulders of an older guy and him hugging me and telling me that things will be alright; that things might seem lost right now but they will definitely get better and there is no need to worry.

On the way to sch on thurs, I teared on the bus thinking of how inconsolable Dong Hae is right now. What would/could i say if i met him? There's nothing to say this late in the game, is there? Only time can heal his wounds.

And, is he blaming himself for Hee Chul's injury? How r the rest of the members feeling/coping?

Hai.


All, indeed, is dark.




Note to readers: I am currently PMS-ing and I am certain that I will get over my spot of sadness soon.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Dream with Kibum

In my dream, i was in a luxurious but unfamiliar ballroom (imagine a chandelier hanging above a black and white checked marble floor) with people i didn't know. Neither was i keen to know them better. But they keep talking to me. When i'm starting to think them irritating, Kibum comes over to us. He's in a dark grey pinstriped suit and has a black mini jacket on top (dunno how to explain). His hair is short and spiky. Smiling cheerfully, Kibum offers me his hand and asks me for a dance. I am led to the dance floor before i can get a word out in reply. On the floor, he (damn this is v deja vu! i recall seeing myself blogging the words' on the floor, he' in this context and wondering if pple would misunderstand that we're sprawled on the floor or sth) pulls me close, putting a hand on my waist and taking mine in the other. i look up at his face, disbelief on mine. He smiles down at me. The chandelier glitters above his head.


Classes

One of my classes was quite boring. My lesson today was more interesting than i had expected, which restored my faith in school (i lost my faith on tues - the teacher made the class so boring). I was quite pissed to go for lesson this afternoon but learning new stuff put me in a better mood after the lesson. At least nv waste my time.


Friends

i dun feel like going to classes becos i dun have any gd frens there. My good frens are in a diff major and hence not in any of my classes :( But today a fren Sa called me up today when i didn't say 'goodbye' to him at the mrt (i travelled with some classmates to the mrt station but i left the grp to buy bubbletea at jp and only said gdbye to the girls). Feels happy and thankful to be remembered. Really appreciate his effort to be friendly to me. Thanks, Sa!


Light Blue Car

i saw a light blue car on the road. It looked familiar and i struggled to rmb whose car it resembled. And finally i recalled: J! What a coincidence to meet him that night in BB.

I was walking home with MC and stopped in front of a carpark to let the cars pass. J's car stopped in front of us and he was trying to i get my attention but i kept ignoreing him. MC saw him reaching out at me and tot J was trying to ask for directions. When MC nudged me to look at him, i saw his poor passenger (a guy) trying to squeeze his head into the headrest so he won't block J. oh well. By the time i said 'Hi.', J had to drive and he responded with a 'Bye'. When they drove off into the distance, MC asked me to wave bye, which i did in a spastic way. i think the 2 guys noticed me waving. (ugh) Anyway, J's passenger was quite cute.

After they disappeared i wonder where they were going. And does J live in that block? Since last yr, when i had a crush on J, i'd fantasize abt meeting him in BB. But i never did. Whenever i walk to the mrt (i'll pass by his block), one thing that never fails to cheer me up was the chance that i might meet J when he was driving out.


Should i take french? Or should i drop it?

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Buying hats is addictive. Hee i bought another hat today - a pink beanie! Nice nice nice!!!

Hard Candy. I enjoyed it. It's a good movie to end the holiday with.


DBSK fooling around - Xiah imitating Rain

Now i've narrowed my choices to Malay and Magic Realism. But MR seems pretty boring. And suddenly there's vacancies for French! Arrghh can't decide again. And MR exam is on the same day as the Asian Art History exam.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Feeling the good effects of retail therapy..hee. I bought a beanie, and a ton of cosmetic products: facial wash for sensitive skin, sunblock for my face, anti-acne body wash, ear sticks, hand mirror, round brush, hair spray, pencil eyeliner, mascara and nail buffing block. Yay! Got most of my shopping done.

Still yet to come:
red shoelaces
pencil case that is rolled up like a makeup brush kit (i'm considering whether i shud make it myself)

Got acquainted with the funkiness of colourful spectacles at Bugis Junction. The specs were so ex!! $120 per pair!!!(!!!!!)

SuJu who made me see spectacles in a whole new light...as fashion accessories!

SuJu in spectacles
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Leeteuk

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Hee Chul

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SHUAI! - Dong Hae

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Yeh Sung - he looks so cute here! :)

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Haha!

Get ready for a cute boys spread!
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GO!!!!

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Cute Sungmin

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Cute! *hugs him*

Kibum
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A younger Kibum

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His charming smile

Cool Kibum
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Woah..Check out the eyeliner!

Shiwon
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Kawaii Kang In!
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Cool Leeteuk
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I liked him from the SM booklet but turns out he's not my type. MC he's all yours! heehee. I tot he looked pretty menacing in this pic though, which is much cooler than his usual cutsie image.

My sis and i r thinking of going to Bangkok to catch Super Junior (and DBSK) in concert again. But the concert falls on a fri night. Sai lah. Why isn't the recess week from 9 sept to 17 sept?!!! KNS..last yr it was during the week of my bday so why can't it be the same this yr?!!!! Arrrggh.

I jogged 4km today. Yay. When i went to sleep last night I tot of not jogging today cos i didn't think i'd be able to wake up. But i did, and i still jogged, which is cause for celebration :)

I ate the Golden milkshake at Azuro Sabo at Marina Square today. It was great!! And really filling too. The Golden milkshake is milkshake with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream topped with soya powder - the taste of which i really like. It's sweet and has a distinctive soya taste.....shiawase~~~~

Golden milkshake - MUST TRY!!!

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Shud i take French? Malay? Korean? Magic Realism? I can't decide!

Let me list out the pros and cons.

French
Pros:
1) I took it last sem, better to continue with it while it is still fresh in my mind.
2) I had every intention of continuing with it anyway.
Con: It falls on a fri, and it might get into the way of my plans for leaving for the concert.

Malay
Pros:
1) I'm interested to learn it cos next time i'll be able to use it if i go Malaysia next time.
2) It doesn't seem that difficult, shud be able to ace it.
Con: I'm not so interested in it. It's from 5pm to 7pm, on tues and thurs.

Korean
Pro: i feel like learning it so i'd be able to learn korean song lyrics.
Con: Must learn out of school = will take up my free time.

Magic Realism
Pros:
1) I'd intended to take it, only not this sem.
2) It falls on monday afternoons.
Con: It's from 4pm tp 7pm on mon. Mon is my short day - the lesson before that ends at 12.30pm.

Learn dancing? Piano? Singing? Arrrgh there are so many things i wanna learn but there's not enough time for everything!!!